Psychedelics Self-discovery SWer Pride

Ayahuasca 🌱and the Journey to Becoming Cherry Tartlette 🍒🥧

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I recently did an Ayahuasca journey. If you are asking yourself: “what the hell is Ayahuasca?!?”, I’ll tell you! Ayahuasca it is a powerful hallucinogenic brew that is used by the indigenous people of the Amazon to enter into an altered state of consciousness. In these ceremonies one can access deep internal wisdom, tap into the wisdom of the collective consciousness and one’s own unconscious. One can process through life traumas and limiting beliefs in an emotionally safe way, leading to healing. Ayahausca is a synergistic potion made by combining the chacruna plant (Psychotria viridis, “the light”) that contains DMT with a vine that contains an MAOI (Banisteriopsis caapi, or “soul vine”). DMT is a substance that is both endogenous in our brains, and also a component in certain plants in nature…almost as though we are meant to consume these plants to have these transformational experiences. It is thought that a DMT cascade is released from the pineal gland in the brain at the moment of death. It is also thought to be the reason that when people have near death experiences they have powerful visions and see a light. Natural DMT releases can also be accessed through states of deep meditation. The MAOI in Ayahuasca extends the DMT trip (which is usually 15 minutes) to be hours long, with a more gentle entry and return. DMT on its own, because of its short duration, can be a rather jarring entry and return. The journey is a spiritual one, guided by music, traditional songs called icaros. Icaros are typically in Spanish or Portuguese (Brazil), but as Westerners have become involved in the community, English songs have been created as well. The lyrics are simple and beautiful; they speak of respect for mother earth and nature, transcendence, healing, change, community, forgiveness, and most of all, love. Here is a verse from one of my favourites: 

🎶Angel heart

Never be afraid to face the dark

If you are, you’ll never let the healing start

In the end

We come full circle again🎶

Listen here!

Unlike other hallucinogens, Ayahuasca is not a fun or social trip. You go there to work on yourself, heal, become a better human. It is done in silence, in the dark. It is often a physically and emotionally uncomfortable experience. There is sometimes purging, which while certainly isn’t fun, is typically very cathartic and like you are puking out “your demons”, your traumas. Many people who do Ayahuasca regularly look forward to this purging as part of the process. Sometimes the journey is beautiful, sometimes the journey is difficult. It is never the same, and rarely what you are expecting. Come with expectations and Mother Ayahuasca will jolt you out of those right quick! 

Now, I’m not advocating for its use. Many people should not use Ayahuasca. Certain physical and mental disorders (and predispositions to same) are contraindicated with the use of Ayahuasca (and other hallucinogens). I am just here to tell you about my experiences with this plant medicine. I have been walking my path with Ayahuasca for about a decade now, doing 1-3 journeys a year. There is a process of preparation beforehand, to cleanse your mind, body and spirit to receive the medicine and to set intention for your journey. Afterwards there is a process of integration of the experiences and lessons. Without putting the lessons into practice in your life, the journey is merely a pretty light show that has no real substance. Journalling and creating art are important components to this integration process. I also typically come out of an Ayahuasca journey with a spiritual “to do list“. Letters to write, conversations to have with loved ones, friends, sometimes exes. Action items in my life in regards to reaching my goals.  Sometimes the integration process can be one of joyful movement forward. Sometimes the integration process can be a drudge of having difficult, long overdue conversations with people in my life about things that came up for me in the journey. All of it is important and powerful, and is the actual work of the medicine. 

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So now that you know about this process, this is what my recent experience was all about:

I worked in corporate finance for many years and had to hide who I was in that environment. I’m a queer, polyamorous, kinky, slutty, raver, hippy witch psychonaut…which really didn’t jive with the lunchroom conversation where my coworkers talked about the latest Kardashians episode and complained about their husbands and kids, and discussed the latest weight loss trend. I love that my work now allows me to be completely myself. Authenticity is very important to me. I find putting on a mask for others to be very draining. 

My recent journey was so powerful because I stepped into my persona as Cherry and made her part of my being and identity. She is me, and I am her. In my vision, I had a transformation sequence where I became Cherry, kind of like in a cartoon. I stood tall and proudly, a slutty outfit was put on me, I spun around and then a flash of light, and I stood in my power as Cherry. It very much reminded me of the transformation sequence from the new She-Ra cartoon. Watch here

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I stepped into my identity as a sex worker. I AM A PROUD SEX WORKER!! 

I love this work. It fills my cup! I think it is so important and valuable to society and I feel so grateful to have found it. I’m proud that I am a source of intimacy, connection and physical affection for people who do not have enough of it in their lives. Human connection is so important; it is how we heal the world. I’m thrilled to offer sensual experiences of exploration and awakening. I was quite the slut in my civie life prior to entering The Biz, so I bring a wealth of knowledge and experience to the table. When I entered into the kink community a decade ago, it was as a submissive. A few years later, I found my voice as a Domme. Having had experience on both sides of the slash (B/D, D/s, S/m), affords me an understanding of what my bottoms are experiencing. Also, I’m a huge nerd for learning…so I’ve taken more workshops than I can count on sexuality and BDSM. 🤓

I have had sex workers in my life as partners or friends for most of my adult life. A previous partner of mine once remarked that I would be very good at this work, and wow were they right! Now, years later, past my 2nd whoriversary, I feel I’ve found my calling. I am amazing at my job and I love it!…I sometimes wonder what took me so long to take the plunge…Mostly internalized whore-phobia from a lifetime of societal indoctrination, which I’ve finally gotten out of my system. This was my journey and I am right where I am supposed to be at the time when I was supposed to get here. 

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Now these are all things I felt before the journey, albeit somewhat superficially. In this ayahuasca ceremony it became part of my being. It’s difficult to describe such a subtle yet profound transformation…a slight shift that changes everything. It has brought me to the point where I am going to come out to my family about this work. I want them to know how happy and fulfilled I am in my work, a drastic change from the miserable wage slavery that was corporate finance for me. 

When I have a bad day in this job, I just know that yesterday was amazing and tomorrow will be amazing…unlike my corporate life where every morning I snoozed 10 times because I hated my days. My life was a perpetual grind of waiting my life away for the weekend. Now I get to work less, and enjoy the work that I do when I am working. It facilitates my university studies. It provides me with the income and the flexibility to travel, both for vacations and for work. 

As I’ve been marketing my tours in the last year, I’ve been able to see the fun in marketing, something I used to view as a chore. This shift in perspective was reiterated in the journey, and since that shift in perspective, the clients just keep rolling in! The positive energy I am bringing to the more administrative parts of this work is paying off big time! I now really enjoy crafting the look of my marketing materials to truly reflect who Cherry/I am. I get to fully express myself, and in that I am attracting clients who truly resonate with me. This is the purpose of this blog I’m starting. I love geeking out with people over psychology, psychedelics, self-improvement, science, cartoons, erotica, music, travel, nature, esoteric witchy shit etc etc etc…and I want to attract clients and other sex workers in my community who I can do this with. 

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.

~ Maya Angelou

It is also funny that today I received an email from my website hosting company that my other wesbite domain name is up for renewal. Prior to being a companion, I did exclusively Pro Domme work under a different persona. It was a persona that never felt quite right, and which I haven’t really done any work on in quite some time. So now that I have really “become” Cherry, I feel I can let that persona go, and focus all my energy where it feeds me…on Cherry 🍒 

This is what has given me the kick in the pants to start this blog that I’ve been wanting to write for some time now. I find that the marketing I do on Twitter doesn’t allow me to express the way I feel about this work I do as a sex worker and wanted a more robust platform to express myself. I don’t anticipate this will be a regular thing, so don’t expect a weekly blog or anything. This is just a space for me to talk about things that are important to me, things that feed my soul, and that show you more about me…outside 280 characters. 

I am Cherry Tartlette! I’m a queer, polyamorous, kinky, slutty, smarty pants, raver, feminist, psychonaut, succubus sex witch, and you should meet me!

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(13) Comments

  1. Tim Bromige says:

    Cherry, super first blog. Fascinating, encouraging and joyful. It is quite wonderful that I met you, kind of out of the blue and to be a small part of your journey. Look forward to many more miles.

    1. I’m so glad it resonated with you! I’m happy to have you as part of my journey! 🌈

    2. Very interesting and enlightening although we have not met yet i am waiting for my opportunity ! Luv your “aura”

      1. Aw that is so sweet! 🌈 I hope to meet you soon 💋

    3. sorry Tim that was for Cherry ! chuckle chuckle

  2. Garnet says:

    Your story is a great one C.T., wonderful of you to share your “musings” with us all. Authenticity and true self love are so rare…wishing you nothing but happiness as you continue on life’s great journey and my sincere thanks for letting me be a tiny, tiny part of the adventure…😏

    Stay awesome…

    1. Thank you so much for the praise and well wishes! I so much appreciate your role in my journey! 🌈

  3. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Very well done. I love a good self awakening. See you again soon in Halifax and Toronto in June.
    Rob

    1. Thank you hon! 🥰 Can’t wait to spend more time with you! 💋

  4. very very interesting to read your comments i look forward to more in the future

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed it! 🥰

  5. Thanks for sharing your Ayahuasca journey! 🙂

    1. You are most welcome! I had fun writing it! 🌈

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